you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
