i just google imaged poop.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
