just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
