girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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