Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
organizing the empties. That sober.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
