I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
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Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
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The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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