Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
be right there i have to get my cape
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
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