i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
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