You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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