wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
