she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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