thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
