At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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