Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
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She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
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im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
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