this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
