Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"