I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
27 Times The Kardashian-Jenner Clan Absolutely Slayed at NYFW
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
19 Doctors Confess The Most Difficult Situation They’ve Ever Had To Face
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone