Texts From Last Night

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  (419): View more from Ohio

  I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids

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  (419): I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids http://tfl.nu/0arl
  Replies (11) Good night (1140) Bad night (1268)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.

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  (202): He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex. http://tfl.nu/r46t
  Replies (1) Good night (611) Bad night (2612)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows

  (1-760): View more from California

  i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal

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  (760): the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows (1-760): i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal http://tfl.nu/0c7c
  Replies (18) Good night (2439) Bad night (664)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you

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  (978): There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you http://tfl.nu/oh5b
  Replies (10) Good night (4555) Bad night (545)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.

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  (304): I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later. http://tfl.nu/jthu
  Replies (19) Good night (892) Bad night (6188)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..

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  (703): bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status.. http://tfl.nu/z1m2
  Replies (25) Good night (6880) Bad night (1461)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?

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  (413): Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him? http://tfl.nu/47cq
  Replies (9) Good night (3257) Bad night (935)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.

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  (773): Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth. http://tfl.nu/gnm7
  Replies (3) Good night (1871) Bad night (771)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.

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  (832): No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good. http://tfl.nu/yaqd
  Replies (3) Good night (789) Bad night (1239)
• Favorite

  (219): View more from Indiana

  I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.

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  (219): I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell. http://tfl.nu/9drc
  Replies (19) Good night (1921) Bad night (992)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?

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  (860): I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that? http://tfl.nu/7o3y
  Replies (10) Good night (1492) Bad night (521)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?

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  (719): Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again? http://tfl.nu/dyj9
  Replies (3) Good night (1437) Bad night (527)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT

  (707): View more from California

  I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.

  (415): View more from California

  I effort

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  (415): I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT (707): I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT. (415): I effort http://tfl.nu/ft8e
  Replies (6) Good night (1547) Bad night (607)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.

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  (914): Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo. http://tfl.nu/y2dk
  Replies (4) Good night (565) Bad night (857)
• Favorite

  (386): View more from Florida

  In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.

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  (386): In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations. http://tfl.nu/h1dn
  Replies (2) Good night (1104) Bad night (680)

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