Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(818): View more from California

Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?

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(703): View more from Virginia

Quoting wale wont save you from herpes

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(951): View more from California

Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.

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(810): View more from Michigan

That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.

(810): View more from Michigan

I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.

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17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
Read it at the TFLN blog
(614): View more from Ohio

Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?

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(925): View more from California

she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are

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(765): View more from Indiana

I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.

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(513): View more from Ohio

I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.

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