ADVERTISEMENT

• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you

  Fav 18 1124 2345

  share tweet
  

• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.

  Fav 14 961 1488

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (727): View more from Florida

  My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo

  Fav 38 1115 5002

  share tweet
  

• (206): View more from Washington

  Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.

  Fav 11 1334 4544

  share tweet
  
• 

  23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.

  Fav 11 5785 1634

  share tweet
  

• (801): View more from Utah

  just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk

  Fav 75 9936 1008

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?

  Fav 10 5383 1053

  share tweet
  

• (419): View more from Ohio

  All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS

  Fav 17 4356 2320

  share tweet
  

• (262): View more from Wisconsin

  we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.

  Fav 5 5862 1056

  share tweet
  
• 

  These 23 Kids Have The Most Overbearing Parents Imaginable

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.

  Fav 12 4536 1247

  share tweet
  

• (702): View more from Nevada

  Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.

  Fav 3 649 1536

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos

  Fav 4 1402 700

  share tweet
  

• (540): View more from Virginia

  We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.

  Fav 3 1901 645

  share tweet
  

• (512): View more from Texas

  I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.

  Fav 11 1668 1065

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (972): View more from Texas

  I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.

  Fav 1 978 801

  share tweet
  

Randomize