I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
