you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
