Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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