I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
