I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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