you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
