i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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