i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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