went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
