$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize