Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Randomize
