there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.