when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
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