how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
