Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
