he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
