no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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