ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
