hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
