Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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