Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
