Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Randomize
