he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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