Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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