exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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