went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
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