omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize