A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
