no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
