I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I came so hard my ears popped.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
