Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Your dad touched me again.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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