Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
