Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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