sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
