she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
