I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
