Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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