Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
