He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
