I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
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