My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
