she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Randomize
