Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
